Wednesday, 2 July 2014

Football shorts - does length really matter?

Yes, actually, it does. Because I'm old enough to remember a time when you could actually see a footballers' legs. Ah, happy days...  

Take Gary Lineker back in Italia '90, although, personally, I had a bigger crush on Bryan Robson at the time and would quite happily have taken him anywhere... sorry, where was I? Oh yes, Italia '90, and Gary Lineker's shorts. Well, footballers' shorts in general, to be fair. I just happen to have a picture of Gary Lineker handy...

But look. What do you see? Leg. And quite a bit of it. Back then shorts actually were short! And yes, I know that's very shallow of me, but come on. I'm only human! I do actually love football as a sport, but something nice to look at into the bargain is never a bad thing, is it? And back then, if a match got a tiny bit boring (a bit like Argentina vs. Switzerland in this current World Cup...) there was, at least, a bit of a view to take the edge off. 

But now -  well, now that view has cruelly been taken away to be replaced by shorts that skim the knee! What's that all about? Who thought that would be a good idea? If FIFA President Sepp Blatter has got the (sexist) cheek to say that all female footballers should play in tight shorts (I kid you not) then let's return that sexism and demand all the men play in shorts maybe not that tight - that isn't always a good look. But they should at least be, well, short!

Because this is what we're getting now, as displayed by the rather-underdressed-in-other-departments Mats Hummels of Germany. Shorts that just about skim the knee. Where's the fun in that? And, at the risk of sounding just as sexist as the aforementioned Mr. Blatter (the same bloke who recently touted the idea of an interplanetary World Cup. Once again, I kid you not... and he wants to stand for a 5th term???), yes, the view in that particular pic I've chosen certainly has something to draw the eyes away from the stupidly long shorts, but I think I've made my point. Somewhere. I think... bring back short shorts!! Not sure I'm going to be called up to speak at any debating society any time soon...

Oh, and before I go, can I just mention something else that really does my head in on the football pitch? Apart from referees that blow their bloody whistles every 5 minutes... and this is something I first saw John Terry do, so I'm blaming him for this - players who pull their socks up over their knees! Stop it! It's what girls do, and it looks silly. We're getting precious little leg as it is without hiding anymore... Just saying...

Anyway, if you're in the mood for hot footballers who are quite happy to divulge themselves of all their kit at quite regular intervals and indulge in the kind of ball control that'll never make it onto the Match of the Day highlights, why not check out my sexy soccer trilogy - the Striker Series. Book #1, Striker, is out now and is available to download from the online stores below. 

Paperback version will be available from August 14th and can be pre-ordered HERE.

Ryan Fisher - my fictional footballer from the 'Striker Series'. He's a bit of a bad boy... have you met him yet...?

Extra Time, book #2 in the trilogy, is released on July 10th. Final Score is due for release in August.



  1. Ewwww No longer shorts better...don't like Budgie Smugglers x

    1. I'm looking for that happy medium - somewhere between the two. ;-) x

  2. With you on the socks Michelle... not because I like looking at mens legs by the way lol! But because any player that does that with his socks looks like a prize prat and deserves slapping around the head with a wet lettuce!

  3. I agree Michelle, we need a happy medium in the shorts department :-)