|Walter White, in the place he used to call home...|
I don't even know where to begin writing this. I mean, I've watched some pretty decent TV shows in my time, but never one that has left me so emotionally drained as Breaking Bad. I actually watched the final few episodes last Friday, hoping that the weekend would give me some time to get over it all - well, that was never gonna work, really, was it? And this morning I sat and binge-watched the final few episodes all over again until I was nothing more than a gibbering wreck in the corner, still unable to accept that Walter and Jesse are gone. For the past five weeks I have spent every single night (bar two, that's all - just two) watching this outstanding piece of television, and now that it isn't there anymore, it's like I've got this huge, empty hole inside of me that just can't be filled. Not yet, it's just too soon, so even though my hubby decided we should start on Dexter last night, well, I'm trying, okay? But nothing can make me shake those post-Breaking Bad blues just yet. I need a bit more time.
|Yeah. I needed a few of those during the finale, too...|
|Flynn finally learns the truth...|
|Saying goodbye to Skyler.|
But, as the final few scenes played out, and Walter finally made it to the Nazi clubhouse (after poisoning the lovely Lydia with ricin-laced Stevia... ), throwing himself on Jesse to save him from the hail of bullets that saw off that thoroughly vile group of people, was he doing that because, somewhere deep down inside, he still cared for Jesse? I want to think that was the case, I really do. I want to think there was still a little part of Walter that wanted to see Jesse happy and, God knows, if ever I've wanted a TV character to be happy it's Jesse Pinkman. Oh, and I almost cheered when he finished off that child-murdering piece of filth Todd with the shackles they'd kept him imprisoned with. A perfect end for a man who deserved no less.
But the moment I think a lot of us - especially those who, like me, have come to love Jesse Pinkman - had been waiting for was when Walt told Jesse to shoot him. Jesse asks him to tell him that that's what he wants; he needs to hear Walt say it's what he wants. And when he does, Jesse throws the gun down at Walt's feet and says "Do it yourself." And for the first time - probably the very first time - Jesse stands up to Walt. He tells him no. He disobeys him. He doesn't do what Walt wants him to do. But that final look between the two of them, before Jesse speeds off into the distance, delirious and almost hysterical with emotions we can't even possibly begin to understand; that final look between him and Walt, that broke my heart for reasons I can't begin to describe. Watching that look between the two of them, it was almost as if every episode flashed before my eyes, their entire journey happening in some kind of super-fast-forward replay from where they began, to where they ended up, both of them broken and battered. It was probably the saddest thing I've ever witnessed in a TV show.
|Jesse Pinkman you're STILL killing me...|
|Walt says goodbye to the thing he loves most...|
Thank you to everyone who played their characters so perfectly from Anna Gunn's slow-burning Skyler to Dean Norris' wonderful Hank Schrader. From the chillingly calm chicken-shop drug king Gustavo Fring to the fabulously deadpan Mike Ehrmantraut. But a special mention has to go to Jesse's co-horts Badger and Skinny Pete - that Star Trek script scene was a definite highlight in the Breaking Bad comedy moments. And it was so lovely to see those guys pop up in the finale.
To each and every one of you, thank you.
Oh, and, of course, thank you Vince Gilligan - you're a genius.For thinking of this in the first place, you're a genius!
Breaking Bad was TV at its very best. Thought provoking, clever, unique drama that I doubt can ever be repeated. It was a show that didn't promise any kind of happy ending for anybody; a show that charted the downfall of not just one man's life, but the lives of all those around him, too. But that's what made it so good. That's what made it special.
Breaking Bad got to me good and proper; it took over my life for a very short period of time, but it will stay with me forever.
It's over now, and those characters are gone. But they will never, ever be forgotten. Walter White, I miss you...
|Gone, but never, ever forgotten...|
This post has been duplicated over on my Breaking Bad blog, and over the next few weeks that's where I'll be talking about some of my favourite Breaking Bad highlights, sharing tributes to some of the incredible actors and the characters they portrayed, and generally just reliving some of the best moments from one of the greatest TV shows ever.
Follow @michellebetham Tweet