Monday, 12 November 2012

It's STILL 'X Factor' Monday... No, I couldn't leave it alone...

It's like a a scab I can't stop picking.  And yes, I know I said I wasn't going to watch 'X Factor' anymore after yet another voting farce last week, but, with only three weeks to go until the final, I figured I might as well prolong the agony and stick it out until the end.  Mainly because I wanted to see - after reading reports in the papers last week about Simon Cowell being desperate to get rid of Christopher Maloney - whether it really was possible for Mr. Cowell to manipulate this show well enough to get his wish. 

As for Christopher's performance, well, it was the same old same old, really.  In some ways he reminds me of a lovely, lovely man, and a great entertainer, called Joe Longthorne whose show I saw quite a few times (and even met the man himself) in Blackpool back in 1989.  And there's nothing wrong with being compared to Joe Longthorne, let me tell you.  I'll admit that Joe had (and probably still has) a much better voice, but Christopher can sing (when he's given the right song - and I'm not sure that Elton John song was it), and he could quite easily carve out some kind of career as an entertainer of some sort.  But he isn't going to be a pop star.  He just isn't.  However, that doesn't mean to say that we shouldn't all vote to keep him in the competition just to completely aggravate Simon Cowell and all the judges.  Except Gary, obviously.  In fact, let's have him win the thing.  I'd laugh myself daft...

As for the rest of them, I don't think Robbie Williams' 'Angels' was the right song for Jahmene, although he still sang it beautifully; I'm getting a tad bored with Ella now, District 3 were good, singing an Eric Clapton song ('Tears in Heaven') that always makes me cry, Union J were alright but still cardboard cut-out boy band material, and - get this, because I never thought I'd utter these words - I actually enjoyed Rylan!  And no, I was stone cold sober, but at this point in the competition I've developed a bit of an "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em" attitude.  He made me smile.  End of.  And as for James Arthur with his version of Adele's 'Hometown Glory', well, he was my favourite of the night.  And did Tulisa say he 'd put a bit of dubstep, or something, in there?  Personally, I wouldn't know what "dubstep" was if it crossed the road and introduced itself to me.  I'm hardly "down with the kids" - right now I'm listening to Ken Bruce on Radio 2 and he's currently playing The Human League's 'Don't You Want Me'.  But I liked what James did to that song. 

So, no real surprises in the live show then, but what did surprise me was the result of the votes from the public.  I really was expecting Christopher Maloney to be in the bottom two after reading how much Simon Cowell (allegedly) wanted him out of the competition.  I'm not saying he could have "fiddled" the votes in any way, but what was written in the papers, combined with the way the judges continually attack him week after week, could have been enough to turn some people off voting to save him.  It didn't.  And I laughed and laughed when he was put through to next week, but extremely surprised to find both boy bands in the bottom two!  I can only assume that every teenage girl in the country lost their mobile phone over the weekend and couldn't get their votes in, because it appeared that the "grown-ups" were calling this week. 

Anyway, it was probably the most pointless sing-off yet because there was no way on this earth that they were going to keep District 3 over the potential money-making-machine that is Union J (I'm not cynical, honest!) so I sat there bored waiting for the inevitable and counting the seconds until 'I'm A Celebrity...' started.  More about that in a minute...

So, we're now down to one boy band.  And, let's face it, it doesn't really matter who wins this competition anymore, does it?  It really doesn't matter at all.  Neither Olly Murs, JLS or One Direction won the show and look at what happened to them?  Union J will be the real winners of 'X Factor' 2012, whether they win the show or not, which I don't actually think they will.  So let's just have a laugh, put Rylan and Christopher through to the final, and make this series end in the biggest farce it possibly can because whoever wins this, they ain't gonna get the publicity that this new boy-band-in-waiting will receive.

Okay.  I'm not going to say too much about 'Strictly Come Dancing' because there never really IS much to say about a show that I absolutely adore and which never fails to entertain me.  I'm still loving Lisa Riley, I still want Denise van Outen's legs - they're just stunning! - and I think I'm developing a teensy-weensy crush on Michael Vaughan, so I was very happy to see him go through to next Saturday's Wembley extravaganza.  However, I was very surprised to see the gorgeous Kimberley Walsh in the bottom two.  I'd much rather the bland and, quite frankly, boring Victoria Pendleton had been in there, but there wasn't really any question that Kimberley would survive over Fern Britton.  Fern did well, but it would have been a travesty to keep her over the much more talented Kimberley.  Oh, and one last thing - I don't know about anyone else, but I enjoyed 'Strictly...' so much more without Bruce Forsyth!  He was having a week off before the Wembley show, but I just thought the whole thing ran much better without him.  Just my opinion.

Anyway, onto this year's 'I'm A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here!'  I really like this show, but that's mainly because of Ant and Dec.  I just love those two!  And, once again, they were making me laugh within minutes of the show starting.  They're the perfect hosts for this programme, because they have the ability to take the mickey out of certain "celebrities" every now and again (who can forget the whole Peter Andre 'Insania' thing?), and I just love their sense of humour!  As for this year's celebrity contestants, we have a couple of soap stars (funny how my other half will suddenly become interested as soon as there's a whiff of Helen Flanagan in a bikini... so shallow...), a Pussycat Doll, an ex-Doctor Who (and already Colin Baker is coming across as such a lovely man), a darts legend, Linda Robson from 'Birds of a Feather', a boxing champion, some bloke from 'Made in Chelsea' (who seriously needs to "man up", I mean, how many men have cried on the first night?), a conservative MP who should, quite frankly, be at work and not fannying about in the jungle, and Brian Conley - who made me laugh myself stupid when I saw him in Blackpool back in 1989 (I seemed to be doing a lot of things and seeing a lot of people in Blackpool in 1989...  Good times...), so I like him.   

It's the usual assortment.  And, as expected, the public have already voted Nadine Dorries MP - along with Coronation Street's Helen Flanagan - to do the next Bushtucker trial, which I predicted they would.  So, it'll be interesting to see who screams the loudest tonight during Bug Burial... I know I'm looking forward to it... ;)

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