But, despite the fact I haven't actually been anywhere, I am back. Back from the depths of way-too-negative vibes I experienced yesterday. Which weren't good, to say the least. Infact, I feel more than a touch stupid for venting feelings I should have kept to myself out loud, which is why I've now deleted yesterday's blog post, despite the fantastic, supportive comments I received from people. And I thank each and every one of you for those words of support and encouragement. They really meant a lot.
But I just didn't want that post hanging around, doing me more damage than good. Because it was written when I was feeling far too vulnerable, and more than a tad stressed. When I (stupidly!) decided to check my 'phone yesterday morning I was up to me eyes in corned beef and mashed potato, trying to knock up a decent homemade pie with Jeremy Kyle yelling out DNA results in the background and the dog barking at some poor bloke going past the window on his motorised scooter! At that point, reading that somebody had actually described the first few chapters of some of my books as "not good" and "rambling", well, it was the straw that broke the proverbial camel's back, so to speak. Note to self: Do not check 'phone whilst trying to do a hundred and one other things!
Anyway, I wrote a blog post I shouldn't have done, but I'd just like it to be known now that every ounce of negativity I felt in that post has now gone. It's gone, and it's not coming back, not if I can help it. Because I was stupid to let one person's opinion get to me like that. I should know by now that, as a writer, you do sometimes need to develop a rather thick skin, but I let my guard down yesterday and that shouldn't have happened. The corned beef and potato pie turned out fabulous though! So, there you go, out of all that negativity came positivity!
And, actually, that's rather true. Because, as I sat watching TV last night, I had an epiphany during Holby City. Just sitting there, thinking rationally about everything, I came up with some great ideas for future books, and there's nothing better, as a writer, to know that, once you've finished one book, there's an idea for another one just sitting there waiting to be worked on. I have an idea for a summer romance, and an idea for a fun, Christmas novel that I hope to have ready to put out there next November/December. So, rather than the events of yesterday knocking me - like I kind-of led people to believe with that shouldn't've-been-written-blog-post - they've actually made me come back fighting, determined to make a success of this writing of journey of mine, if it kills me! Although, I rather hope it doesn't, because I've got a lot of plans...
Sometimes, though, when something like that happens, it can serve as a wake-up call, a reality check, if you like. Creative people can, I imagine, be extremely sensitive people too. Our books are like our babies. We watch them grow, we nurture them, then we put them out there, all on their own, so of course we're protective of them. And when someone criticises them of course it's going to sting a bit. But it's something I need to deal with, so yesterday was a good old kick-up-the-backside for me, a reminder that the kind of books I write are not going to appeal to everyone. Not that I ever did think that, but yesterday was the first time I've ever actually read a negative view of my work. So, yes. It was a wake up call. And I should have handled it better.
But, today is a new day and I've woken up with a new attitude, a new way of looking at things, and a realisation that I still have a long way to go on this writing journey of mine, but I'm in for the long haul, because I'm doing what I love. I love to write, Simple as that. And to walk away from that just because one person caused me to have a full-on strop and throw my pens out of the pencil case, well, how stupid would that be? No, I've got work to do here. I've got books to write, characters to create, stories to tell. And I just hope that people will forgive me for yesterday's slightly more public-than-it-should-have-been rant, and stay with me as this up-and-down journey of mine heads onwards and, hopefully, upwards.
I will continue to write what I write - sexy, sometimes edgy romance, because that's what I love. I've been sitting here this morning, playing my rock music loud, reading back some of my own work, and do you know what? I am still so, so proud of what I've done. So proud that I've managed to write those books and put them out there for the world to see and make of them what they will. All I know is that, as a writer, I need to hang onto what makes me individual, and whether my writing attracts the masses or just a handful of fans, that really doesn't matter. Because I write what I write, and that's the way it's always going to be.
So, once again, to quote more of those axed X Factor contestants, you haven't seen the last of Michelle Betham, Romance Author....
Right, now, before I go anywhere near those new ideas of mine, I've got some hot movie stars to finish writing about... so, if you want me, I'll be somewhere in Las Vegas with a Bradley Cooper lookalike...
|Sun, sea, & fun romance on the island of Tenerife|
If, by any chance, you'd like to sample some of my books for yourself, they're all available to download from Amazon.co.uk and Amazon.com
|A Hollywood romance, with a kick|
|A sexy, edgy, rock'n'roll romance!|