Monday, 5 September 2011

5 jobs that just aren't me...

Having read, and enjoyed, the lovely Mummy Misfit's post last week from her fabulous blog regarding jobs that just aren't for her, I discovered that she'd tagged me and asked me to reveal 5 jobs that I just couldn't do.  And I've quite happily accepted the challenge.

So, here we go.  5 jobs that just aren't for me... and the reasons why.

1.  Pilot

I can't take the responsibility.  Enough said.

2.  Sales Assistant at Greggs the Bakers

Too much temptation...
And this has got nothing to do with it being beneath me, or anything like that.  Far from it.  This is purely to do with the fact that I have got really rubbish willpower at the best of times, but if I'm faced with freshly baked sausage rolls and iced ring doughnuts for nigh on 8 hours a day I can guarantee that I'll be the size of Hattie Jacques after a month!  It's putting temptation infront of a very weak-willed person (when it comes to blueberry muffins I can very rarely say no) and it's just not worth the risk.  The end result would not be pretty...

3.  Catwalk/Runway Model

An accident waiting to happen.
Apart from the fact I'm only 5 feet 2 inches tall, I can't walk in heels.  No, seriously, I walk like that Dick Emery character 'Randy Mandy' in stilettos, I'm useless!  You remember that time Naomi Campbell fell on her arse in a pair of Vivien Westwood's?  Well, she was dignified compared to what I would've been like.  In all honesty, two minutes on a catwalk/runway in anything higher than a pair of Converse baseball boots and I'd probably end up in Accident & Emergency, I mean, this is the person who managed to tear the most important ligament in the foot taking the rubbish out in a pair of trainers!  On the morning of a Take That concert!  And what a day that turned out to be, but that's a whole other story...

4.  Waitress in a restaurant

Mainly because I am one of the most clumsy and accident prone people you could ever meet.  See above!!  So, if this waitress job also required me to wear heels of any kind then it's a real no no!!  Not sure any restaurant could afford the liability insurance! I can break a glass or smash a plate just by looking at it, believe me!  And the way some of these waiters/waitresses can carry more than two plates at once... I wish!   If I tried that half the tables would be wearing their starters!  I tried it once at home and the dog ended up with a whole load of chicken he hadn't been expecting.  So, no, not a good idea.  On any level.

5.  X Factor Judge

Possible judging partner? Nah. I'd nag him too much!
I know that most people would probably revel in this job but, apart from the fact they'd do me hair nice and I'd get to wear some decent clothes, I'd probably be fired within days because I'd just be too truthful.  I'm sorry, I do watch the X Factor (the UK one, anyway), but only to moan all the way through it!  I wouldn't put half the dross through that that lot of judges have done so far.  I'd be telling it to them straight, discounting anything resembling a boy band (I know I'm a Take That fan, but I do recognise that they have a bloody lot to answer for!) and I couldn't care how old they are, if they sing crap but look good, they'd still be out!  And where is anyone resembling a rock singer??   No, sorry, just couldn't sit there and pretend there's a world wide super star in the making amongst any of the people on that show.  So, as a judge I'd be a liability.  I mean, do you honestly think they'd let me have Slash as a mentoring partner... ???
Also not sure I could sit next to Gary Barlow without starting on him for bringing Robbie Williams back...

So, there you have it.  5 jobs I either couldn't or wouldn't do.  For varying reasons.  There are probably a lot more out there, if I think about it, but these'll do for starters.  And maybe, in another blog post one day, just to level it out, I'll tell you the 5 jobs I would love to do.  And that's quite a long list, actually...

Check out my second blog Michelle Betham: Author - It's All About The Books
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