Monday, 20 June 2011

More Monday musings.

I've just been outside mowing the lawn, sorting me pots out, that kind of thing.  And as I was crouched down trimming me borders with a pair of lawn-edgers so blunt they wouldn't even tickle you, I found my head spinning with what felt like a hundred things I want to do but no clear idea of when I'm going to do any of them.  I've got two more books on the go (both follow-up novels to the two books I currently have for sale on Amazon - 'No Matter What' and 'Too Much Trouble in Paradise'  I'm not going to miss a chance to plug them am I?  This is my livelehood now you know!!) but I couldn't help wondering whether I should write something completely detached from those two books next, maybe create a new set of characters because, let's face it, I have no real evidence that the characters from 'No Matter What' or 'Too Much Trouble in Paradise' are actually popular yet!  I'm still waiting for any kind of book review to appear and let me know whether I have successfully created people that anyone actually care enough about to read more adventures of.  But then again, haven't I always said that the whole reason I went into this self-publishing lark was because it gave me the freedom to write about who I want and create the stories I want to write?  Saying that though, it's still pointless writing anything that nobody wants to read.  And that's why I found myself dead-heading pansies and fighting with myself over what I should write next.  Dare I start a brand new book and have three on the go at once?  You see, in a way, I don't think that's too bad an idea.  Sometimes it all depends on what mood I'm in as to what I actually feel like writing so if I had three completely different books on the go at once then I could spend my days writing whichever book took my fancy on any given day.  Now, that's either going to work really well or give me one hell of a headache, so I'll keep thinking about that one.
I have a terrible habit of thinking about a million things at once.  My husband says it's something I do a lot - think about too many things at once whilst not concentrating on any of them fully and he's probably right because last week I tried to put the kettle in the fridge and the rational part of my brain knows that isn't where it should stay!!  But I've always got a lot on my mind, I have an inability to wind down, an aversion to relaxing.  I was a lot better at it when we lived in Tenerife because the whole feel of that island just makes you want to kick back and sit still for a few minutes, and it's usually too hot to go racing about like a blue-arsed fly anyway.  Unlike Britain.  For some reason - and maybe this is just me, I don't know - but when I sit down, even just to have a cup of tea, especially in the middle of the day, I feel guilty!  I just can't do it, I cannot just let everything go, switch off and relax!  Even during 'Coronation Street' I'm still thinking of what I'm going to write the next day, which chapters I'll work on, etc.  Although, I have to admit, I did let all of that go when I was watching 'Drag Me To Hell' last night, a film that was both terrifying and hysterically funny in parts.  It's the bit with the goat that did it for me.  I was all for sleeping with the lights on until that bit happened.  Anyway, where was I?  Oh yeah, my inability to relax.  Nope, I just can't do it.  Relax, that is.  Which is why I need to get me brain in gear and decide just what it is I'm going to give my full attention to next because I'm dangerous without something to focus on.  I can end up wasting a whole day just faffing about when I could be doing something useful.  And then I end up feeling guilty that I wasted all those hours and beating myself up over it and punishing myself by not letting myself chill out!  I may be a bit neurotic actually, I need to work on that...
I spent a lot of last week working on my third completed novel, editing it ready to convert into eBook form, but I've now decided to put that on the back burner, one decision I have managed to make without having a three hour debate with myself!!  I think having two books for sale is enough at the minute and putting a third out there in such quick succession to the other two is something I'm going to wait to do.  I need feedback and reviews from the other two first before I stick a third one out there.  I'd like people to get a feel for my writing, enjoy (hopefully!) what I've done so far before I start shoving more down their necks!!  But I do want to get my teeth into something else now, because for the past few weeks all I seem to have been doing is editing, converting, uploading etc. etc. and I haven't actually been doing any writing.  And that, after all, is what I love to do.  Write.  And I may even write something other than novels because, whilst watching an episode of the bloody hilarious 'Phoenix Nights' (Peter Kay is a legend of comedy in my eyes) I had an idea for a sitcom of my own, (see?  I just can't switch off!), and I might just write it too, if only to see if I could actually do it, because it'd never get made.  Even I'm intelligent enough to realise that I have as much chance of my dog Archie being made Deputy Prime Minister (although sometimes I think he could do a better job) than I do of getting any sitcom I write past anyone in the BBC/ITV/Channel 4 etc.  But it's a challenge I might just undertake because I reckon my idea's a winner.  Not telling what it is though.  Not yet anyway!! ;)
So, as we head into another week I might spend the rest of today thinking about my next move, what book I work on next, how do I continue marketing the books I already have out there without people getting totally fed up of me mentioning's all got to be done.  Then there's my website.  That's got to be created too, although at least I have that in hand - you see, I just can't help my brain running off at a hundred miles an hour! God knows how I managed to stay focused enough to complete three novels.  But, the thing is, once I set my mind to something I can totally lose myself in it, and that's what I need to do now.  Find that book that I want to lose myself in.  And stop worrying about everything else going on around me.  But before I do any of that - one, two, three...and breathe.....

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